Well, here it is October, the eighth month of the Roman calendar. Until the politicians started fooling with the calendar. And, among other things, October celebrated old men and, and, well, young ladies of a sort.
Of course, we old poots are like old bankers. Old bankers never die, you know, they just lose interest.
As far as men are concerned losing interest is the number one killer of retirees. They do a Bear Bryant, retire one month, die the next. Of course, you and I don’t fall into that category.
Computer uses have a much more varied range of interests. More than most of us can afford and most of them harmless, but not all. I knew a feeble old guy who smiled at a sweet young thing and five thousand bucks worth of wining and dining later had something that was hard to cure.
A young wife who liked to be wined and dined in all the most expensive spots. And to hear his tale of woe he didn’t even get enough snuggling to make it worth the first date. But we better not talk about that!
One of our European allies don’t seem to respect our President. Polish President Komorowski got his knickers in a wad, you know. Bush, I mean Obama, called him Merkel. Komorowski called Bush, I mean Obama, a pantywaist.
And Germany’s Angela Merkel said the American foreign policy can be summed up in three words. Grovel and apologize.
The practical Czechs are making money out of political disaffection, though. They have a gallery in downtown Prague with pictures of the world leaders and Czech legislators up on the walls. For a few cents each you can shoot them with an air rifle. Some of the least popular politicians pictures must be replaced every day. Twice a day in Obama’s case.
But you know, we should offer politicians at least sympathy. It must be tough, trying to create a legacy. The presidents who actually left a legacy did it without trying, by doing the good that came naturally to them. The rest? Every hear of Warren G. Harding? Outside a history book?
Not to change the subject, but we have snow snowing in places it has never snowed before.
Speaking of weather of a sort, Ol’ Sol has been remarkably free of any freckles or other disturbances lately. The 10.7 mHz solar flux is up slightly, but that is the only sign of an uptick in Solar Cycle 24. Hopefully solar smallpox will begin just any day now, but there is no guarantee of that.
And some boffins say the Earth’s magnetic field is about to flip so all the compass needles will point to the South Magnetic Pole. And the South end of the needle will point north. Which will be a good excuse to emulate Doug Corrigan and take the short way home. Around the world.
Now, one thing to watch out for is if this cycle turns out to be a dud. It will be cooler than normal until solar activity turns up again. And if solar activity stays low long enough we will have another Maunder minimum. Or an ice age. Depending on the length of time solar activity is depressed.
Which is what the generation of boffins before Maunder called “the little ice age.” And what the folks who lived through it called frozen hell. That was when the northmen abandoned Greenland and half the population of Europe starved to death.
A bad time to live through. If the sun does not break out in spots pretty soon it would be a good time to lay in seven years provisions. Or seven times seven!
And if we don’t get sunspots, propagation and DXing will stay poor. Speaking of DXing, are you thinking about a DXpedition? A bargain cruise outfit put a FAX on my office machine advertising Caribbean cruises that cracked my sales ladies up.
Among other things it claims “A typical day might start with a genital stretch-and-tone session on the Sun Deck.” I suspect this masterpiece was written by a congenital idiot or a newspaper editor, but I repeat myself. Anyhow, I have been waiting to see if any of the ladies in my crew takes their hubby on that cruise.
For another thing to worry about, the paper sez that in Kent, England, planners are running out of burial plots in Gravesend.
Out in Nevada the good residents of Tuscarora are proving insects have good taste. Musical taste. The town gets invaded by Mormon Crickets every year, so the Tuscarorans retaliate with boom boxes. Tuned to a rock and roll station. The crickets don’t like the Dead, LED Zeppelin or the Stones. They leave when the “music” starts.
And Wal Mart has been busted. At least, the drivers who deliver prescription drugs to their pharmacies have. Illegal aliens. On the road at up to 97 MPH with a half million bucks worth of prescription drugs. I guess that’s what you call “containing costs.”
Of course, Janet Napolitano, the ex homeland security head and groper in chief for the Obama regime, says it’s not aainst our laws to sneak across our border.
Janey also says Christians, veterans, and hunters are terrorists. As is everyone else except Muslims and Al Qaeda members. According to Janey.
Oh well, closer to home I see the local police have arrested some professional ladies. The worlds oldest profession. And from the pix in the local fishwrapper, the HPD nabbed six of the worlds oldest professional ladies. A hundred years ago, the press referred to those women as “soiled doves.” Looks to me like that bunch were spoiled doves.
Speaking of the ladies of the oldest profession, I see the economic downturn has hit the ladies of the evening quite hard. Up in British Columbia one of the girls has taken up residence in a dumpster. She was arrested – for talking trash to a Mountie!
A stripper impersonated a woman at a party. No joke! That’s what the headline says!
A Los Angeles soiled dove has staked out a cote in four units in a Porta-Potty farm. One is her private wardrobe, one is her private bedroom, and she entertains in a third. The fourth? She has a fridge, a hotplate, and a microwave stashed in the fourth. That makes it an in-and-out diner.
The ladies are finding the economy tough in Europe, as well. Der Speigel says the German Johns are getting really tight. Customers who used to come by three or four times a week only come by once or twice now. And clients demand all the extras for no extra charge. Several German houses are offering free shuttle buses, discounts for seniors and taxi drivers, a free round of golf with every visit, plus loyalty cards.
A Hamburg establishment offers a special day rate of only Eu 38.50. And a Berlin house is advertising a really special deal. Eight hours during the day for 70 Euro. Nine to five, with a catered dinner, for about $100 American. And you can bring your wife along at no extra charge.
Twofers in a cat house! What is this world coming to?